On Friday, February 5, 2010 I had the most intense lesson on driving in a snow storm. Thank God I had my son to assist me to see the road. We were driving back to New York City from Maryland when the snow storm was in progress. The snow had started to accumulate and it was dusk by the time we hit route 695 to get to route 95 North. I figured I would stick to the main road of 95 North. It was about 6 pm. I had to drive now with the headlights on. If anybody has driven this route you know that there is a lot of highway with no lights.It's not as if I have never driven in the snow before. I'm used to driving in the city with lights on the road. This was a long drive to New York City with lots of road and no lights. The snow was blowing at the windshield. I discovered how mesmerizing the pattern of snow was while driving in the dark. There was not a lot of traffic on the roads and sure were not cleared or salted prior.
It became frightening to turn on the high beams as it was a definite no-no in that it made it even worse to see anything. The snow pattern that was highlighted by the headlights almost made me feel like I was hallucinating. I could not see the road. At one point it was like driving into an abyss. I had to make myself breathe as I was clutching the steering wheel for dare life. I had to force myself to look past the mesmerizing snow in front of me. I had to look to the periphery to not get sucked into that dancing snow maze directly in my vision. I HAD TO BE FULLY PRESENT, IN THE MOMENT! I could not even think of taking one hand off the wheel to even take a sip of water. No music, no distraction! It became increasingly apparent that I needed to be not too far from any cars ahead of me, that was shedding their red tail lights to get a sense of the road and where I was going. Then there would be some bigger vehicles flying by blinding me even more that the snow. I would be so grateful when I came to an area that had big lights much higher above the highway to deflect some of the snow maze in front of me. It was a little release of the tension to stay present.
I felt myself really panic and part of me wanted to give up because it was getting so tiring not to relax from being so present. I also saw that I could not entertain the thought that I could not do this, or that we would have an accident. My son said he was driving with me, even though he wasn't at the steering wheel. At one of the most treacherous points of the drive, he commented that it was like being in a space ship, because we couldn't see the ground or the sides at all. That was a real "scary" feeling. He also suggested that I turn off the headlights and just use the yellow parking lights to see the lines in the road that the snow had covered up. It worked! I could actually see better without the glaring headlights against the snow. Then after awhile, I would turn on the regular headlights to see. He commented to just relax into the situation. I teach yoga, so I took the tool to breathe consciously as "I" navigated through this unknown terrain. I saw after awhile that I was not as tense when we came to the real dark areas as I knew I had to shift how I was "seeing".
It was ironic that though I could not see the road, this experience made me see so many analogies of the situation in a new light. Like the "menacing" snow maze was like all the obstacles that come to us in life as we travel down an unknown path. Do we get caught up in it or do we persevere to continue though the obstacle or our fear to get to the other side? We might even get so tired that we don't care to go on, regardless of the consequences. Are we able to be open enough to take chances of using new techniques to be able to navigate through the intense experiences - like turning off the headlights and just using the parking lights?
Then to top it off, I had to drive below the regular speed to drive safely. After it seemed forever to drive out of Maryland through Delaware to the New Jersey Turnpike, the road seemed even worse. One lane. Sometimes attempting to pass the salt truck and not get pelted or blinded. Finally, somewhere between exit 3 and 4 (the exit numbers rising to get to the George Washington Bridge going to New York City) the snow lightened up. My son called someone in NYC to find out there was no snow there!!! Finally I was driving with no snow or rain. It was such an amazing difference and relief!
Nearing the end of the trip I started to get sleepy. I prayed to stay awake, which I did. I saw how that state of alertness for the majority of the drive kept me alert! It was great to cross that bridge and get home to our respective places. It could have been a life or death situation. I give PRAISES and THANKS to the Divine Creator, to Mother Nature in the form of the snow and my son to keep me to be determined to stay present.
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